Just Say No

It was a nice day. Cloudy breezy cool. We were working outside and I sat on the front porch watching Camille play in the yard while Shiloh ran for supplies. A man pulled up across the street. He got out of his car and was already half way across the street before I saw him. His hands were pressed together and he said

Please please let me mow your yard. Please...please...?

I uh well er....how...much would you mow it for? Just the front I added quickly.

He looked around.

He named a price.

I told him I would text Shiloh and see if he wanted him to do that.

And then as we waited (and waited) for a reply he went into a long winded explanation of how he is starting a new job on Monday. It's in Mesquite. He has to commute. It is at a produce place and he would be delivering produce. This sparked an interest in me because we were just putting in our own garden that same day. I asked if it was organic produce he would be working with. He said yes. He needed gas to commute for a week until he got his first paycheck. He lived one block over. He lived with his disabled mom. His rent is 475 a month. His mom gets one paycheck from the government each month. He's been out of work for 3 month. He was clean. He smelled nice. His goatee was trimmed. He looked....healthy. He pleaded. PLEADED for the work.

I took it as a man doing what he needs to do to get by. I told him I wasn't SURE Shiloh had any cash and we don't keep checks. He was persistent. He insisted. I told him where our mower was. He had his own gas.

He came right back saying he couldn't start it. It was broken. That's kind of true. We just rig it up when we need to use it. He told me he could get a mower.

I asked 'You have a mower?'

He stated again 'I can get one.' Then he asked for a pencil and paper to write his friend a letter (his word not mine) because he was just going to help himself.

I swear. If you give a mouse a cookie...

He wrote his letter and left. He was back in minutes with a mower. I had checked on the kids in the back since he had walked back there and the rooster promptly attacked Camille. I finished cleaning her owies and went to look out of the window.  I watched him. He was speed mowing. Motivated? For sure. I saw a cigarette in his mouth and began questioning his motifs. The whole 'If you are so desperate for cash why do you spend it on cigarettes' thing rolled through my mind. I told myself maybe he was just using what he had left. I almost believed myself. But then THEN a second car rolled up. He shut off the mower and went to the car window.

Hmmmm his mower friend? They spoke. They got louder. It sounded like a woman now. His mom? Maybe disabled meant unhealthy. Not crippled old lady as I had imagined. Who knows. After they yelled a bit the car drove off. He continued mowing. I frantically texted Shiloh to please hurry home dear so I don't have to deal with this anymore. 


I watched in awe. This was certainly the fasted mowing job I had ever witnessed.

Shiloh came in the back door. I barely had enough time to explain the whole situation before Mr. Speedy Mcmower knocked on the door.

Shiloh went out to talk to him. He offered him the 7 dollars he had in his wallet,explained that we didn't have a check and offered to go to the gas station to fill up his tank for the rest of what we owed. I had told Shiloh I was now doubting weather or not the money we would pay him would indeed go toward gas.

I peeked out the window.

He wanted none of that. He wasn't angry. He just simply took the 7 dollars and left.

HUH.

You don't want free gas?

Thought so.

Maybe I should have known when he begged and pleaded. Or when he told me to explain to Shiloh that if he would maybe overpay him he would re-imburse the extra after he earned that first paycheck. Or when he added in the sob story of his mother and how he her only noble son lived with her to care for her. Or when I saw a little something flash on his face just before he answered that 'yes, the produce is organic'

Uncertainty. That is what it was. I can see it now. Uncertainty of how he should answer.

I'm not very quick on my feet. It took me time to figure out that most probably he wanted some quick cash for a certain habit. But by that time he was half way finished.

All I know for sure is we got what we paid for,he has my pencil,our rooster will be leaving us in the near future and we STILL need to mow.

Sigh.

It was a good pencil.

Silas On Positive and Negative Behaviors

Silas started doing something yesterday that was a first for him. It took me a minute to realize that what he was doing was a new to him thing. I see his sisters do it all the time.

It was time to get into the car. He gathered up his green composition notebook and a pen before running out to get buckled up.

He carried it around for the rest of the day working on his drawings.

At one point he told me (as I was driving) to 'Look at my drawing,Mom'.

I told him 'Buddy,I'm driving and I can't look right,now can you tell me about it?'

I turned down the radio and tuned into his voice. This is what he said:

There are two forests. A big one and a small one. The big one is for all the good people. The small one is where the bad people live.

I thought he was pretty perceptive. I liked the way he separated good and bad into categories but I wanted to know more about what he was thinking. I asked him 'Who lives in the big forest?'

Turtles.

Then he continued:

Bad guys and robbers and...and...snapping turtles live in the small forest. 


I thought this was a little funny but didn't want to alter the course of the conversation by laughing so I was quiet until I could talk with out a smile. He continued before I responded.


But the snapping turtles can live in the big forest too. If they don't bite.

*Ah*

'So they can move from the small forest to the big forest?' I asked.

Yeah they can. If they do the right things and no biting.

And that is the insight of my four year old. What I take from this is that people can make their own choices but even if they have chosen things that led them down the path to the little forest they can always change course by making different choices and move on up to the big forest.

Now if only we could figure out a way to convince him that Indians are not for catching,cooking and eating. Indeed. I would hate for him to grow up to live in the small forest even if he does look pretty cute in stripes and behind bars.

photo by AG Photography

Meant To Be

My all American boy 

clad in his made in Thailand outfit

which I bought in Ethiopia

from a little market called Taiwan

with my good friend Alemayehu whose name means I see the world

has added his own unique flair that is decidedly Texan

and I think that's great.

Remnants of Ethiopia

I wonder if they will remember the funny light skinned ferenges who visited their coffee farm and brought this strange little wonder that they will most likely always refer to as 'POP!'?

Ciao Ethiopia

Questions Need Answers

What is this little girls favorite food?

From what I understand she only has one food option. Flour mixed with water to make a flat bread. She likely eats once a day and maybe sometimes she will have something else if her family sells a goat. If her family is one of the families that has goats. But even still seems like a happy bouncy child. As all the children seem to be. They laugh and giggle and skip and grin. They all seem very close. Siblings wear siblings and hold their hands. Boys walk with an arm thrown around a friend. They may not have much water to drink and the water they do have is not suitable for drinking and is making them sick but still they are joyfull.

Who am I with here?

Three friends and fellow bloggers.


Jennifer mother of four and author of imnotsuperwoman

Heather mother of one and author of journeyheather

Laura mother of two and author of housewifeintown

What makes the people so filled with joy?

That is a tough one. They live in very close communitees. They are all born into these rough circumstances where helping one another is necesarry. They share a very strong faith. But why are they so joyfull? I guess they choose to be. Given the circumstances that is amazing.

What would they do if they could do anything?

Find sustainable income for the sake of their children and stop living day to day. They want to have healthy water to drink. They want to protect the health of their children. They want their children to get an education.

What is the education system like?

It will be differant depending on if they live in a city or a small remote village like Megaladi. It would also depend on the level of support they may recieve whether it be from the government or a nongovernmental organization.
In Megaladi they have a small room with a few desks. The floor is very fine dirt. The children stir it up and it causes problems with their eyes and noses. They have one chalkboard. Some children have to take the goats out to graze and can not take the time to come to class. Others come but have no energy for learning.

What does a day look like for the women?

Women are burdned with the chores of getting water each day. They must walk very far to bring water that can be used for drinking. If they have babies they carry them along on their backs. If they have small children they must walk along too. The water in the village is not suitable for drinking. Sometimes they have no choice and drink it anyway and it is making them sick. There is not much time to focus on anything else. If they had a nearby water source then the burden of fetching water would be lifted and it would start a whole chain of events that would lead to positive results. They would be able to plant food to eat and sell. Their animals would not starve and die. They could focus on learning a trade and generate an income. They could teach their children basic handwashing skills to reduce the spread of disease. If they did not have to send their children out to sit with the animals the children might not decide to just keep walking and never return.

They live a hard life. The've learned to live on handouts and their mindsets are not such that they think too far ahead.

GHNI hopes to change their thinking. They want to show them that they can use local resources and they want to work together with them on small scale projects that set them up to succeed. Simply giving them ideas and working together beside them may change their lives forever.

Imagine if they would plant a grove of trees and (when they do get water) water them. It sounds so simple. Just plant them and water them and leave them alone. The mango trees here get enourmous and are beautiful. But it's hard to plan ahead when you have little energy and are used to lots of handouts that quickly go away.

If they were given a large sum of money today they would spend it today because they and their children are hungry today.
The good news is they are willing to learn and want to be shown. I believe in them. I saw it with my own eyes.

This place will change. I believe in the work GHNI does with these villages. Megaladi may one day be a fruit orchard. It may become known for producing organic produce. It may become a dairy farm. It may become a cattle ranch. They might become famous for producing the best goat cheese around. The school system might become known as the best in the region.  Who knows? Whatever they become I'm excited to watch them grow. I will stand with GHNI and cheer them on until they graduate the TCD program and I invite you to come along.

Megaladi

                                               There is a village.

                                                   With a mission.

Fathers want to see their children educated. Mothers want to have healthy children. I know that because today I asked them.  Although my question went through two translators it was clear that these mothers and fathers value the same things I do.

I choose to give my children healthy foods and encourage them to drink water. I show them how to wash their hands and cough into their elbows.

This young mother wants to educate her children on basic cleanliness. She wants to prevent the spreading of transmittable diseases.

We do that through hand washing.

This father wants to educate his daughter.

He wants all the children to have energy and time to attend classes in their modest school room.
My children do not have day jobs and are not too tired to learn.

Their water source is making them sick. They spend their time keeping their goats from dying of malnutrition so they can sell them to have enough to buy food.
We met with the committee leaders in each of the five areas of TCD (Transformational Community Development).

This is the water committee.

We made sure to the explain the mission of GHNI. We wanted them to understand we are here to walk beside them and teach them to offer encouragement and support if  they are willing to accept.

They told us they are weary of experiencing trying times. Their bodies are weak but their minds are sharp. They told us they wanted to accept a help up from a friend. They recognize the perpetuating problems of organizations who come in and throw money at them or  give them diesel generators that pump undrinkable water.  They told us they are ready to work hard if shown the way. They do not wish to sleep and sit all day any longer.

We celebrated the union by breaking this very special bread. Bread decorated with the names of GHNE (Global Hope Network Ethiopia) and Megaladi.

We shared coffee and bananas.

With a hearty handshake

and a warm hug

it was official. We are now the hopeful reaching out to gently lead our weary friends. The power of that kind of friendship is not lost on me.

It is not lost on this father either.

He gave an analogy that the water of a pond can not be moved unless a flood comes. Megaladi is the pond. We my friends,have the potential to be the flood. The villagers know that the process is slow, like the sun rising but are ready to commit to the TCD program.

TCD is designed to take 3-5 years. With just 24 committed sponsors (like me) donating $12.00 a month Megaladi has the potential to transform from a dusty dry thirsty undernourished group of people into a lush green well quenched income generating TCD graduate.

Visit Megaladi's blog.

Click join Megaladi and

let's work together and do something amazing.

It will take a commitment

a kind heart

 a giving spirit

 but most definitely

it takes a village....